


It's all an Act

by snowspriestess



Series: One Shots [15]
Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, i just love these two idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 03:57:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19191427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowspriestess/pseuds/snowspriestess
Summary: When Nikolai attends a ball with the Shu delegation, a Queen is needed. And who better to play along than Zoya?





	It's all an Act

“I hate you.” Zoya fluffed her hair over her shoulder, glaring at Nikolai who was walking next to her. “If you weren’t the king…” 

He interrupted her, with the same smoothness he always had. “Easy, Nazyalensky”, he teased, his hazel eyes gleaming amused. “It was your idea that I should attend his gala, after all.” 

It  _ had  _ been her idea, but not like this. Not like this at all. 

The Shu were celebrating their annual New Year’s festival, and Zoya had urged Nikolai to go and represent Ravka at the festivities. It was a good opportunity to get to know the enemy, she had said, and so the crown had accepted the invite. 

However, this was when the trouble had started. Because only a few weeks ago, Nikolai had refused to marry the Shu princess with the excuse of already having found a different bride, and unfortunately the Shu had not forgotten that particular detail.  _ The King and Queen of Ravka  _ the invite had clearly said, and Nikolai was in need of a queen. 

And of course, he had demanded Zoya to step in. Genya had called it “ _ A marvelous idea!”  _ and so it had been decided, no matter how much Zoya gloated and protested and listed a thousand reasons why it would all go wrong. No one had listened, least of all the king, and here she was, in a blue silk dress next to Nikolai playing the part of Queen of Ravka. She could not be more miserable. 

“Could you at least try to smile, Nazyalensky?” Nikolai asked now, suggestively reaching for her hand and pulling her into the crowded ballroom. “You’re supposed to be happy.” 

Zoya made a face. “How could I? I’m married to you”, she snapped, looking around herself scanning the faces. They were all Shu she didn’t know, but she was well aware they were probably being watched already. Everyone would want to know why Nikolai Lantsov had dared to refuse a Shu bride. “Where is the King?” she wondered, keeping her voice low. 

Nikolai sighed dramatically, oddly enough still holding her hand. “You’re not the General tonight, you’re the Queen of Ravka.” He navigated her towards the center of the room, ignoring Zoya’s hesitation. “So stop seeing this as a mission and  _ relax _ .” 

Zoya gave him a irritated look, suddenly well aware they were standing on the dance floor. “No”, she began, but Nikolai had already drawn her closer, a hand on her waist, and began to sway her around. “I’m going to murder you tonight, Lantsov”, she muttered under her breath, trying to ignore the way her heart began to race whenever his fingers brushed over the skin of her open back, or how close their bodies actually were.  _ Focus,  _ she told herself, taking a deep breath. 

Nikolai seemed to enjoy the whole act, his hazel eyes trained on her. “Not that bad, is it, Nazyalensky?” he teased her, leaning in slightly. “The king is watching by the door.” 

Zoya didn’t look up, nodding slightly. “He is never going to buy it”, she objected, glaring towards the door. Indeed the king was standing there, surrounded by a group of advisors. “We are risking a war here, Nikolai”, she added. 

The king’s expression never darkened, instead he looked even more amused. “Then we better give him a better show, don’t you think so?” 

Zoya met his eyes, too late realizing what he had meant. She felt his hand slip down her back, the touch leaving a row of shivers on her spine. “Nikolai”, she began, wanting to protest, but then he was kissing her, and every word died on her lips. 

He tasted of wine and surprisingly chocolate, and for a second she was truly lost. The room disappeared around them, the music feel silent, and Zoya had no idea whether they might have kissed an hour or a second. 

Eventually, Nikolai let go of her, drawing back ever so slightly. His lips were still too close to hers, as if he was taunting her. They were both breathing slightly unevenly. 

Quick to be the first to speak, Zoya cleared her throat. “Admit it, you’ve always wanted to do that, Lantsov”, she teased, glad to have the familiar edge to her voice. His hand was still resting on her lower back, and she was painfully aware. “And get your hand up, or I’m cutting it off”, she muttered under her breath, so the surrounding couples wouldn’t hear. 

Nikolai chuckled, his lips brushing against the top of her cheekbone for a moment. “Charming as always”, he replied, gracefully spinning her around to the music. Then he caught her again, pulling her close against him. “The King is coming over.” 

Zoya tensed, fighting the urge to reach for the little dagger she had hidden beneath her dress, strapped to her leg. 

Like he had read her mind, Nikolai caught her hand. “What did I say, Nazyalensky?” he said quietly, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Don’t be the General.” 

She hated herself for letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment, leaning into the touch. The memory of his lips on hers was still haunting Zoya.  _ Had Nikolai felt it too?  _ She watched him, entirely at ease as usual. But he was a gifted actor, changing personalities like other’s changed clothes. Had he felt the same longing during the kiss, the same electricity passing between them?

She tried to push the thoughts back, instead focusing on the Shu king who was approaching.  _ Don’t slip now,  _ she told herself. Ravka depended on her performance. 

“Nikolai Lantsov”, the king said, his dark eyes flicking in between him and Zoya. “What a delight.” 

Nikolai replied in his usual charming manner, complimenting the palace and the festivities, truly sounding like he meant it. Zoya admired his ability to smile through everything. 

Unfortunately, the attention now turned towards her. Usually she wouldn’t have minded, perhaps even toyed a little with the looks she was given just to annoy her king, but tonight she was hardly in the mood for anything of the sorts. She forced herself to smile when the Shu kissed her hand, fingers digging into the fabric of Nikolai’s jacket. If she survived this evening, she was truly going to kill him. 

“A true beauty”, the king said in heavily accented Ravkan, his eyes passing over Zoya once more. Then he added something in Shu, the words too tangled for her to understand. But she could feel the way Nikolai tensed next to her, his grip around her waist intensifying. 

He replied something in Shu, the smile still on his lips, before turning away and excusing the two of them. 

Zoya felt herself being pushed back onto the dance floor, almost stumbling over her own feet. “What was that about?” she asked, steadying herself by leaning onto Nikolai. He was frowning, watching as the King departed. She could feel his tension still, the obvious anger he was trying to hide under the surface. 

“He said something about you”, Nikolai replied, not meeting her eyes. He was moving her to the music, but his thoughts seemed far away. 

Zoya frowned, both touched and confused he thought that the words of some random king might mean anything to her. “What did he say?” she demanded to know all the same, allowing herself to slip a little closer into his arms. She could feel his soft breathing against the curve of her neck, sending trembles down her spine. 

Nikolai hesitated, giving her a quick glance. “He said he would like to borrow you for a night or two if I allowed it.” 

Zoya huffed, narrowing her eyes a little. If she wanted, she could make the entire room explode with lightning right this second. On her wrists, the dragon scales shimmered. A little inferni fire might do the trick as well… But Nikolai’s voice was in her head, his words calming her anger.  _ Don’t be the General.  _ She gave him a knowing glance. “They are angry you rejected their princess”, she noted. “But at least he bought the act.”

Nikolai’s lips curled up in a smirk, the tension slowly drifting from his body. “Who knew you were such a natural actress, Nazyalensky.” He lifted his hand, for a moment tracing the line of her cheekbone. It was almost a romantic gesture. “One might even think you’re enjoying yourself.” 

Once, Zoya would have. She had desired to be Queen, not understood why Alina could ever have rejected the Lantsov diamond all those years ago. But things were changed, and she was no longer a clueless little girl. She was commanding an army now. “I’m just making sure you’re not starting a war because of your stubbornness to refuse the princess”, Zoya replied firmly, straightening her back a little. She could not lose her focus now, no matter how close Nikolai was, or how her stomach fluttered whenever his fingers brushed her skin. 

The king sighed. “The Shu are still watching”, he said, careful and considerate. But his voice had a certain strain to it, and if she had not known better Zoya might have assumed it to be jealousy. His fingers pressed a little tighter against her back, his other hand wandered into her hair. 

This time Zoya expected the kiss, but there was no way to brace herself against the rush of emotions which seemed to drown her. Nikolai was more forceful this time, heated, and she almost believed it to be passionate. 

Zoya found herself burying her fingers in his golden curls, not wanting to part just yet. She pulled him closer subconsciously, feeling the warmth of his body against hers. If she didn’t know better… 

Her senses returned, and she pulled away. Her heart was racing in her chest.  _ You’re a fool,  _ her inner voice hissed. “The king is gone”, she informed Nikolai, slightly breathless. It was hard to keep her voice firm. 

Nikolai gave her an odd look, clearing his throat. For a second he looked almost like he was losing his act. But then the facade was back, and he smirked. “You’re getting better and better, Nazyalensky”, he commented playfully. “But who could resist the Lantsov charm.” 

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly. “Don’t push it”, she muttered. “I’m still debating whether to let you live through this.” 

Nikolai chuckled. “If the king is gone, we can leave the party soon”, he noted. 

A moment ago, Zoya had wanted nothing more than to disappear from this room, let the act drop once and for all. But when they finally slipped away from the party and returned to their assigned chamber, she felt even more like the evening would end in a nightmare. Because naturally, they were expected to stay in the same room. 

Zoya closed the door behind herself, leaning against the cool wood for a moment. “I hate dancing”, she muttered, closing her eyes. 

Nikolai was glaring out of the window, closing the blinds carefully. Always watchful. 

She glared at the bed in the middle of the room, the one she was expected to sleep in next to the king. “Can I sleep on the floor?” she asked dimly, reaching under her dress and pulling the small knife out. 

“What should the servants think tomorrow morning?” Nikolai replied, raising a brow. “That I make my wife sleep in front of my bed?” He shook his head. 

Zoya shot him an annoyed glance - because of course he was right - and pinned the knife into one of the small tables. She felt like smashing one of the expensive vases down with it, but the Shu would probably not be delighted about such an intrusion. “What’s next, Lantsov, asking me to take off my clothes?” she snapped, hating herself for being so on edge about this. 

Nikolai leaned against the windowsill, shrugging now. “Actually”, he noted. “I was going to suggest that.” 

Zoya gave him a puzzled look. “If you’re teasing me, Nikolai-“ 

He sighed. “If a servant comes in tomorrow morning and sees the two of us sleeping fully clothed, don’t you think they run directly to the king to tell him?” His eyes never let go of hers. “We’re too close to making this work to falter now, Zoya.” His tone was gentle, pleading. He reminded her of an actual puppy dog. 

She huffed. “Everything for you,  _ your Highness _ ”, she replied sarcastically, voice honey sweet. Her fingers found the zip of her dress, the silk sinking to the ground as she opened it. 

Later she thought she might have imagined the sharp exhale Nikolai gave as the fabric fell, but she had clearly noticed the way his gaze lingered on her, now only in her underwear. At least she had chosen some pretty lingerie this morning. Admittedly, she liked it that apparently he was not as truly immune to her beauty as he usually pretended to be. 

“Happy now?” Zoya muttered, crossing the room and sitting down on the bed.

Nikolai looked rather puzzled still, now avoiding to meet her gaze at all. He was opening the buttons of his shirt, letting it fall to the ground as well. 

She took a deep breath, turning away as he slipped out of his trousers. This was insane. What was she doing here? She was a soldier, a Grisha, a General. Not a queen. 

“Are you going to keep sitting there all night, Nazyalensky?” Nikolai teased, already slipping under the covers. He was watching her with a slight smirk around his lips, the usual careless attitude he likes to display. Although she knew better than to believe it was truly what he felt. 

Zoya gave him a stubborn look, rolling into bed as well. She was oddly aware of how sparsely clothed she was. With every other man, she wouldn’t have minded, perhaps even made a little fun out of it. But Nikolai was different. 

He was still watching her now, as she kept her distance. “Risking that you might cut off my hand for this but”, he reached out to seize her wrist. “Married people don’t sleep like they are afraid to touch each other.” 

“Careful, Lantsov”, Zoya muttered. “You’re bordering on desperate.” She eased herself into his arms, ignoring the shiver which raced over her skin as she did so. It was purely to prove to herself that she could do this, that she could spend an entire night in Nikolai’s arms and feel absolutely nothing. 

Nikolai chuckled, letting one of his hands rest on her back to pull her slightly closer. “The Shu bought it, didn’t they?” 

Zoya looked up at his face, studying his eyes. “Of course they did”, she replied firmly. “We sold it well.” She was suddenly aware of how close their bodies were, that she could feel the beating of his heart under her fingertips. The heat of his skin was radiating towards her. She didn’t dare to move, afraid to disturb the fragile state of peace they seemed to have found. 

And then suddenly, he was kissing her again. It was softer than on the dance floor, Nikolai’s fingers brushing through her hair, tracing the lines of her face. Zoya felt like falling, slipping away through an invisible current.  _ Don’t be the General.  _

She broke free, gasping. Nikolai’s gaze was resting on her, looking slightly troubled. But he didn’t say anything, obviously waiting for her to take the word. 

Zoya swallowed hard, trying to make sense of the blur in her mind.  _ It’s all an act,  _ she needed to remind herself.  _ He doesn’t feel anything for you.  _ Men usually got carried away when she took her clothes off, it was nothing unusual. This was no different. “We should get some rest”, Zoya declared, determined to ignore whatever had happened in the last minutes.

Nikolai nodded as she rested his head on his chest, shifting a little in the covers. “Zoya”, he began, hesitatingly. Doubting. 

She had her eyes closed, determined to ignore whatever might come next. “Spill it, Lantsov”, she muttered. “I’m tired.” 

His fingers brushed over her cheek. “You’re pretty convincing playing the part of queen”, he noted. 

She could hear his heartbeat, the sound calming her thoughts. Zoya sighed, not opening her eyes. “I’m sure whoever princess you’re going to choose is going to play along just fine as well.” She forced herself to say it, speak the hard truth. 

Nikolai sighed. “Goodnight Zoya.” 

She only opened her eyes when she was sure he was asleep, staring into the dark of the room and not daring to move. 

In the morning, Zoya woke by the sound of a servant knocking on the door. She blinked a few times, not quite remembering what she was doing, while the woman came in and set a breakfast tray down on the end of the bed. 

“The King sends his regards”, she said in broken Ravkan, bowing her head. 

Zoya glanced over to Nikolai, who still looked asleep, and had his arms wrapped so tightly around her waist that she could barely move. “Thank you”, she told the servant, managing a smile while trying to sit up. “Nikolai, could you wake up?” She gave her best attempt at a sweet voice. 

Eventually his eyes flickered open, and he gazed up at her lazily. “What a lovely way to start the morning”, he noted, charming as ever, before sitting up and kissing her casually.

It was barely more than a brush of his lips against hers, but enough to make Zoya’s stomach drop. She tensed a little, running a hand through her hair while trying to decide what to do with herself. 

Finally the Shu woman excused herself and left them alone, allowing for Zoya to move to the edge of the bed. Her skin was still prickling where Nikolai’s fingers had touched her. She reached for the tea, poring two cups only to have something to distract herself with. 

Nikolai leaned back against the pillows, running a hand through his hair. He still looked sleepy, and a good five years younger. It reminded her of the time when he had still been  _ Sturmhond.  _ “The King wants to show us the Palace today”, he said eventually. 

Zoya snorted, sipping her tea. She had wished that they could leave first thing in the morning, stop this ridiculous charade they were holding up. “What’s there to show? It’s barely half the size of the Little Palace”, she replied, giving the room a judging look. 

Nikolai laughed, shaking his head. “You’re extra spicy in the morning, aren’t you Nazyalensky?” He reached for a piece of toast on the tray, beginning to eat. “We should be able to return to the Capital tomorrow morning”, he added, reassuringly. 

_ Another night like this.  _ Zoya rolled her eyes, a snarky comment already on her lips, just when the door was opened again. The Shu really didn’t value privacy apparently. 

The woman was back, an uneasy smile on her lips. “His Highness wishes to see you”, she said briefly, adding a little bow and disappearing again. The door fell shut behind her. 

Zoya sighed, glaring at Nikolai. “We better don’t make him wait.” She slipped out of the bed, glad for the opportunity to bring some space between the two of them. However the feeling vanished when she remembered her sparse outfit, and felt the way her king’s eyes followed her. “Stop staring, Lantsov”, she commented, fluffing her hair over her back and giving him an amused look in an attempt to keep her cool facade. “Better get dressed.” 

Nikolai tore his gaze away - seemingly hesitant - and got up as well. In the meantime Zoya had reached for a new dress, slipping inside as quick as possible. She turned her back to Nikolai, brushing her hair away. 

He understood what to do without her having to ask, and for a second she noted how much like a married couple they were behaving already, always knowing just what the other needed, understanding each other without words. Nikolai moved behind her, reaching for the zip of her dress. His fingers brushed the skin of her back for a moment, sending an instant shiver over her skin. 

Zoya shifted slightly, trying to ignore the feeling and stepping away as soon as the dress was closed. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to untangle it enough to look presentable. After all, she was a queen today. She missed her  _ kefta  _ terribly already. 

“Ready?” Nikolai asked, his eyes gleaming playfully. His gaze brushed over her dress briefly. “You look like a true royal, Nazyalensky. Now only the smile needs to match.” He brushed a strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. 

Zoya straightened her back, giving the sweetest smile she could manage. “Whatever you want, your Highness”, she replied, turning towards the door. 

 

They made it through another day of smiling and pretending, as the Shu king let them through the entire palace, explaining every room and every niche. Nikolai felt exhausted, but he was trained to smile and be charming even in those moments, and so he never faltered. He was more worried about Zoya, who sometimes looked like she was going to strange the king right on the spot if he dared to speak for a second longer. Whenever he felt her tense beside himself he put a hand on her arm, a reminder to stay in character. He loved Zoya’s temper, but today they had no use for it. 

In the evening they dined with the King and Queen and they sat through more endless conversations about money and politics and the last harvest. Nikolai was glad to lead the conversation, while Zoya sat in silence sipping on her wine, giving the occasional smile when the Shu queen pointed something out to her. He told an amazing made up story of how Zoya and himself had met - which had been carefully constructed by Genya beforehand - and the Shu king nodded and raised his glass in approval. 

They were finally able to return to their chambers after dark, and Nikolai didn’t relax before the door fell shut behind himself. He gave a sigh, running a hand over his face. 

Zoya sank down on one of the sofas, giving him a tired look. “I can’t believe Genya thought it would be a good idea to tell everyone that we met  _ during dance class _ .” She shook her head, her long dark hair tumbling around her shoulders. “Like I would ever take a stupid dance class.” 

“What else should we have said?” Nikolai replied, shrugging. “That we met while fighting the Darkling? On the Shadow Fold maybe?” He smirked. “I could have told him the chilling tale how after I changed into the monster the Darkling planted inside me and fell from the sky wounded, you caught me in a cloud of air, our eyes met and I was madly in love.” He crossed the room, closing the blinds. Better safe than sorry. 

Zoya was playing with a strand of hair, watching his movement. “Very romantic”, she commented. “Don’t forget the part where you decided to make a Grisha Queen of Ravka and destroy every chance for a successful alliance.” Her tone was sharp, but she was smiling lightly. “But who could resist me, right?” 

Nikolai chuckled. Although he still remembered last night, Zoya curled up against him, her blue eyes so close to his own, and how he had gotten lost. The kisses on the dance floor he had been able to play off, explain by wanting the act to be cohesive, but the one in the bed… That had been his own heart getting in the way. 

Because Zoya in a  _ kefta _ was already beautiful, but such a familiar sight that he was able to keep his emotions in check. Zoya in a dress was harder, especially in the kind she liked to wear, with the silk hugging every curve of her body. However Zoya with even less clothes was bound to drive him mad, and so he had slipped last night. 

Now she was getting up, striving towards the bed. She was reaching for the zip of her dress, but Nikolai was faster. He stopped behind her, brushing her hair to the side and revealing the bare skin of her back. For a second he wished he could kiss her, let his lips meet the curve of her neck. But then he brushed the thought away, opening the dress without another word and allowing Zoya to slip out of it. 

He stepped away quickly, forcing himself to turn away from her. Then he undressed as well, shirt and trousers. When he turned back around Zoya was sitting on the bed, having the covers clutched to her chest like she was freezing. Her blue eyes refused to meet his, instead she was staring into the blank air. 

Nikolai slipped into bed as well, but remaining seated. He could feel that there was something on her mind, bothering her. “What is it?” he wanted to know, scanning her face. “You look like you’re already planning a war.” 

She gave him a thoughtful look. “We didn’t think this through”, she said eventually. “What do you tell the Shu once you find a real bride? Don’t you think they will notice the difference?” 

Admittedly, he had considered that a problem for later. “I suppose I will just have to marry you”, he replied playfully, having meant it as a joke, but actually noticing that his tone was much more serious than intended. 

Zoya huffed, replying a half serious “You wish, Lantsov”. But her expression was still stern, troubled. 

“Didn’t you ever think about it?” Nikolai wanted to know, watching her carefully. 

She raised a brow. “Marrying  _ you _ ?” 

Nikolai rolled his eyes. “Marrying anyone, Nazyalensky. Don’t tell me there weren’t enough suitors.” Zoya probably had an entire row of men lined up at her door if she wanted to. Although he would probably prefer not to hear about them. He already regretted having asked about it. 

“Come on, who wouldn’t want to marry me”, Zoya replied, fluffing her hair over her shoulder and in the process revealing the naked skin of her shoulders and collarbone. 

Nikolai had to try hard not to stare. Somehow he thought she had done it intentionally. “But no one caught your eye yet?” he followed up, not sure himself why he continued to push. Perhaps he was longing to hear her say  _ no, there’s no one else.  _ Because that was what he liked to believe. 

Zoya gave him an amused look. “Why? Afraid you will have to deal with some angry Ravkan tomorrow because you tried to seduce me?” A smirk curled around her lips. 

“I would gladly fight with him over your honour”, Nikolai responded. “Just warn me beforehand.” 

Zoya didn’t say anything, only continued to glance at him. Her eyes were calm and still, and they always reminded him of the sea. He was suddenly out of words, hit by the intensity of the eye contact. Without much thinking, he reached to touch her hair, letting the strands run through his fingers.  _ If only…  _

“Nikolai-“, Zoya began, her lips slightly parting, but her voice barely more than a faint whisper. 

And then he was kissing her, not thinking about the consequences. Even now she smelt like wildflowers, the scent whirling around them as he ran his fingers along her neck, over the bare skin of her back. Zoya’s fingers curled up in his hair and she shifted closer, pressing her lips against his with new intensity. 

He didn’t realize what even they were doing before his fingers brushed over the clip of her bra, daring to open it. Zoya pulled away suddenly, wide eyed and gasping for air. Nikolai was breathing heavily himself, suddenly remembering why indeed  _ this  _ was not supposed to happen. Because a few weeks from now, he would have to marry someone else. Who ever that might be. And no matter what he might wish, it could not be Zoya. 

She was staring at him, entirely frozen. Zoya Nazyalensky out of words was a rare sight. 

Nikolai’s fingers were still resting on her back, and he could feel the warmth of her skin under his fingertips. “We could”, he said quietly, barely more than a whisper. “Forget about everything in Ravka for a night.” He was hardly expecting her to accept, but somehow he spoke the words anyway. 

Zoya’s eyes were almost sad. “And tomorrow? We go on like nothing happened?” 

He was about to point out that she had probably done that with numerous men in Ravka, if he chose to believe the gossip about his General. But instead he looked away. Because one night was not what he wanted, truly. What he wanted was what they had played at for the last two days, what he wanted was all of her, not just a fragment she was willing to share during one night. 

As if she has read his mind, Zoya took the word. “Nikolai”, she said, and this time her voice was firm. “It can never be.” 

He looked at her, the person he trusted most, the one person he would be willing to share the burden of Ravka with. “Well”, he replied, forcing himself to continue speaking before the courage left him again. “It could be. You would just have to marry me.” 

Zoya gave him a look which very clearly said  _ have you lost your mind?  _ “What?” she replied, shifting away a little. “If this is what you come up with once I take off my clothes-“ 

He interrupted. “It has nothing to do with that.” Because it didn’t. He also wanted to marry her when she was wearing a  _ kefta.  _ Nikolai seized her hand, like he was fearing she might run away. “Marry me, Nazyalensky. I mean it. Become my Queen, because there’s no one I’d rather have.” 

Zoya was staring at him wide eyed. “I’m your General”, she replied faintly. “I’m a soldier.” She shook her head. “You need an alliance, Nikolai, not a Grisha Queen who everyone will hate.” Her voice was shaking a little. Like she was afraid. 

He noticed that she hadn’t once said that she didn’t  _ want  _ to marry him, and somehow that fact was making him hopeful. “You and I have both sacrificed everything for Ravka, Zoya”, he replied. “But we don’t have to sacrifice each other.” It was more than he had ever dared to say before, even dared to admit to himself. “And you would make a magnificent queen.”  _ You already are.  _ Her defiance was shaking, he could sense it. Nikolai shifted closer, allowing himself to touch her cheek. “Unless you don’t feel the same way. Then tell me right now and I will never ask again.” He kept his eyes trained on her. 

Zoya pressed her lips together, nervously playing with the blanket. “I’m not saying yes”, she replied stubbornly, glaring at him. “I’m not that easy, Lantsov. You have to try a little harder to win me over.” A smile crept over her lips. 

Nikolai huffed, sinking back into the pillows. “If the offer of my heart isn’t enough, how about I add a throne and a life in luxury to the equation?” 

Zoya looked mildly amused, leaning forward to rest her body against his. “I’m not saying yes”, she repeated, but when he kissed her again and she made no attempt to stop him, Nikolai found himself thinking that she might soon enough. 


End file.
